I’m doing a list post today because I have lots of little random bits to write about and none are big enough for their own post.

• I am finally making progress on my assignment and it’s going fairly well thus far. I should be done by Friday and hopefully the effort will be good enough for a pass. It’s my second-to-last assignment so that’s pleasing.
• Only three more weeks until we move. Which reminds me that I should start thinking about packing up my room as I don’t wish the professional packers to be doing that. Not that I have anything hide per se, but I’m hyper-private and fussy, so best I do it myself.
• I may have a part-time job opportunity for when I get to Auckland. It’s at a men’s shop which sells, well, lots of stuff for men. Cigars, lighters, model cars, shaving stuff, et cetera. So, depending on when the owner needs workers by, I might be working there over summer.
• For some reason I have become ridiculously excited about Christmas. My youngest nephew is at a better age to understand more and he knows who Santa Clause is. It will also be my nieces first Christmas and, though she will only be four months old on the day, it’s still lovely, and having children around makes it more enjoyable. I want to make cards this year, but I’ll only post out a few of them, to people I wont see or give gifts to. I hope this feeling of wonderment over the holiday lasts—it’s more fun!
• Last night I started re-reading The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons. It’s the first book in her Bronze Horseman trilogy that follows Tatiana Metanova and Alexander Belov as they experience tragedy and loss, as well as their love for each other. The trilogy spans decades and starts in 1941, the day the Soviet Union and Germany go to war. It’s by far the best I have read yet. Ever. I’m really not kidding. The Bronze Horseman is so perfect, so lovely, so sad, so amazing that I have become somewhat obsessed. Ok, I lie; I’ve become a lot obsessed. I will write a post about the books in the near future.

I think I’ve given myself too much to do. I have all these lists of stuff I need or want to do and I’m getting so overwhelmed by the volume that all I seem to be doing lately is…nothing! I’m not accomplishing much of anything except that which is totally necessary or that I can be bothered doing.

There are not enough hours in the day, not enough minutes, not enough time to sit and just be. I don’t mean doing things for myself, because a lot of things on my to-do lists are things that I enjoy and want to do simply for the reason that they make me happy. I don’t mean having me-time and choosing to do whatever I please with that time, like play around on the Internet, movies, TV or reading. What I mean is time that is for me, where I am not distracting my mind with something, and I can sit and be still in my mind. To think, to breathe, to just be.

I guess a form of meditation is what I mean. I need that time and I want it, but it also becomes like a task I have to do and not something I do because it pleases me. I’m just having very conflicted responses to the things I do for joy and such. They’re becoming tasks that must be completed as opposed to projects I can sink into and have fun with.

I’m not really sure where this is coming from or why, which I’m finding frustrating. I don’t like feeling unproductive and lazy, yet I am finding it very hard to pull myself up and get going with things at the moment. Urgency is in my face with a lot of it and that is crippling me, I think. It’s odd that I tend to feel like this most often when I come back to Gisborne. Time almost seems to stop yet it flies passed me and I’ve no idea where it all went and what the hell I was doing during.

All of those things on my lists feel like bricks that are slowly mounting up on top of me and I just can’t even be bothered moving them off despite the fact my mind is screaming. I’m screaming at myself to get going and stop dawdling, but my body says “No, just a little bit longer. I’m tired and I want to lie down,” and a part of my mind says “No, just a little bit longer. I’m tired and I don’t want to think about it.” And I (the productive, ass-kicking side) says to “get the f**k up,” but the other sides are still winning.

Maybe if I could just sleep better, and I know once I get going with things a flow will develop and I’ll get everything done. I just need a jump-start.

Dinner on Thursday night was lovely. I had spoken to the restaurant ahead of time to let them know I’m vegan and to check if they had any options for me. They were wonderful and I ended up ordering mushrooms (I’m not sure of the variety, but they were large) stuffed with a mix of couscous, red capsicum, cashews and pineapple. On the side were two roasted tomato halves and under the mushrooms was a lovely roasted red capsicum. The mushrooms also came with crispy julienne potato stack on top.

It was the best meal I’ve had out in a very long time, with wonderful service from the staff. I don’t like being a nuisance to people because of my personal ethical, and thus dietary, choices* and sometimes it can still be a bit daunting to go and say “Ok, I don’t eat this, this, this, this or this, or anything container those things. But make me something divine, ‘k?” Some restaurants are not at all accommodating and don’t even want to try. I’ve even been somewhere where I felt like I was being grilled about these choices, which was rude and totally uncalled for. Serve me my food, shut the hell up and go away!

In other news, yesterday I finally managed to create a new design for Bubblegum Fangirl and get that up and running. I spent the first half of today trying to finish The Bridge To Holy Cross by Paullina Simons as it’s due back at the library, but my eyes are having trouble seeing clearly, so I’m on a “break”. Because reading on the computer is oh so much easier and better for my sight, obviously…

It’s raining and seems so dreary, but it’s nice to look out my window and see the cars go by, the rain fall through the leaves and hear the distant rumbling of thunder. A hot chocolate may me necessary soon.

Now I’m about to attempt upgrading WordPress, so I hope that goes well…

*Even though I shouldn’t feel that way. It’s none of their business a part of whether or not they are able to serve me anything I consider edible. If not, I take my money elsewhere.

I’m going out for dinner tonight so I attempted to do a couple of victory rolls in my hair but failed miserably. It’s now is a bun. However, my point is this: Goddamnit, I just wanna do them in my hair! Why can’t I do them? Oh my God! Insert whining here.

Oh, well.

In other news, one of my nephew’s is in hospital with terrible pain in his abdomen. They thought it might be appendicitis but nothing has come back conclusive, so he will stay over night. It sucks being so far away. To make it worse for him: his 11^th birthday is this Saturday!

I better go work out what I’m actually wearing on my top half.

My day started off with the promise of being quite great but has progressively gotten worse. I think tiredness, stress and possibly hormones have a lot to do with how things have turned out. Things are stressful at the moment, partly because of my own reasons and partly outside sources such as certain family situations. It’s difficult to switch off when it’s in front of your face all the time.

I will be fine with my assignment and I’ll get it finished, but it is bothering me to a degree. I never feel very certain I’m doing things right until after I get marks back and see they’re mostly good. I know that confidence will come with time, but I’m so impatient.

Completely unrelated to any of that is that I am letting more people, such as family, see this online part of me. This website, for instance, and thus some of my thoughts which perhaps I would not readily share with them (as sad as that is to say, in a way). I have been used to keeping both worlds very separate, but I created this new site because I wanted to be comfortable with more people seeing it. Actually saying “Sure, I’ll send you the link” or whatever. It’s new and slightly uncomfortable.

But goodness can come from discomfort, as I am proved often, so I shall blog and bare it!

This is something a friend of mine posted on her MySpace and I thought I’d share it to demonstrate one of the ways humanity is going to shit. It’s amusing while also being really scary at the same time.

How would you pronounce this student’s name: “Le-a”?

Leah? NO
Lee – A? NOPE
Lay – a? NO WAY
Lei? Guess Again.

It’s pronounced “Ledasha.” Oh, yes, you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
If you see something come across your desk like this, please remember to pronounce it correctly.

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “The dash don’t be silent.”

If there are any deities you believe in, I would recommend you start praying to them now in order to save civilisation, or at least start reversing this bollocks. If not, well, just hope, ok? And go to school, please.

This month is my one-month “veganiversary”: one month of being vegan. I don’t have a definite date though, but I know it was some time during the week after September 7. I wish I had a definite date, but I’ll just have to make the whole month of September ‘Veganiversary Month’ from now on (hey, why not, right?)

It feels a lot of longer however, as if I’ve always been vegan and that there was no time before then. This is a common feeling, according to other vegans. It really is amazing how the way you think and do things changes so suddenly and, for me, without much thought or deliberate effort to change. In fact, I found it much easier to be totally vegan, diet-wise, after I stopped being concious of making the changes. I just let them happen and it became easier as I let everything flow as opposed to being forced.

Something in me snapped on Father’s Day (September 7)—I told myself I was going to have an all-vegan day and I had prepared vegan dishes to take to our family lunch, but I ended up giving in and having some flavoured sour cream dip, one of my old favourites. I tried it but I didn’t like it, and that thought stuck with me over the following week and one day I just realised “Holy crap, all the food I’m consuming is vegan! What the hell, when did this happen? Hell yeah!”

So, happy one-month veganiversary to me! May every month be a vegan one until I die a very old woman.

I have to write a report and it’s supposed to be due next Monday. I’m going to push to get it done by then, but I do have an extension until 31 October if I need it.

I wish the topic was something that didn’t require several mathematical calculations and me having to pull most of the recommendations out my behind since it’s all pretend. I am not really a marketing analyst from a large Wellington hotel!

I will get there, but I am feeling very frazzled at the moment!

I have two cats meowing outside my door. If I let them in, one would chew my hands and feet off and the other would try to sit under my neck or on the computer. They need attention because I have spent virtually all day sitting in this same spot on my bed designing and coding a new layout for my quilt. It’s not very original since it’s almost the exact same header as my last quilt layout—what can I say? I was attached!—but with a few different animations. At least it’s done and looks ok in evil Internet Explorer.

Aside from coding, I have had to change into a slip multiple time in order to do fittings for the dress my mum is making for me. It’s for our farewell dinner as we are moving to Auckland in December (finally!!). The dress is a knee-length, short-sleeved, black crepe fabric with white polka dots and a sweetheart neckline. I wanted something retro looking and thus far it’s working out wonderfully.

Sidenote: I think I am going insane because I’m totally in love with a character from a book. Nuts, I tell you! Oh well, since I’m doing psychology next year I guess I’ll be able to fix myself, eventually.

Another super-boring post about getting the website in better shape! XHTML and CSS validating is complete, except that I have not checked every single blog page yet (I’m tired).
My current to-do list looks something like this:

• Finish validating blog pages
• Add links to ‘links’ section
• Start writing for the ‘goodies’ section
• Tidy up my quilt, make sure everything follows rules, etc.
• New designs for fanlisting and namelisting collectives
• Tidy up aforementioned collectives
• Create snazzy index page for Prettybloomers
• Be a good fellow blogger and comment on people’s blogs for once
• Actually write something worth reading in this blog
• Add BellaBiblio to Wrongdecade and create better reviews
• I think I missed a lot, but that’s ok!

And now I’m sleepy and going to go watch Gossip Girl (because Trashy TeeVee is what we all need).