I’m sitting on the couch listening to number one hits of Michael Jackson (CD raided from my uncle and his partner’s collection) at a reasonably loud volume and totally dancing while sitting on my arse.

My extended family has had two losses in the last month. My third cousin, Troy, was killed in a car accident a month ago and then his grandmother, my great aunt, died on Monday night from heart failure. Troy was 22, she 84. His a complete shock, her’s not so much because of long-term health issues. Last time I saw him was 9 years ago, her two weeks ago. I couldn’t attend his funeral (my mum represented our family), I am attending hers tomorrow.

I am surrounded by death at the moment, not just in the very real personal form of losing family, people I’ve known all my life, but also because I’m taking a paper on the sociology of death and dying. So, no escaping it, really.

I don’t want to though. It’s so much a part of life and it’s necessary for me to feel connected to it, in some way. To be ‘okay’ with it, if there ever can be such a thing. Death is fucking shit. Losing people you love for good, is shit. No two ways about that fact. But we are all immortal and we all go at some point, and I want to be somewhat at peace with that. It is not something I want to avoid thinking about and dealing with.

I’m afraid of dying, but I’m more afraid of the people I love dying. Because I have to live with that loss, somehow, but if I die and there is an afterlife I might get to see all those people I love who’ve gone before me, and if there isn’t one, well I’ll be dead so I won’t care.

I can see why some people prefer to believe in the afterlife: it’s more comforting. ‘Forever’ with the people you love exists, an eternity with them is then real. You would never have to leave your parents, your children, your lover, your friends, your pets, your whoevers.

Kiwi Biscuits are a New Zealand favourite (certainly among my family anyway!). Typically they’re made with chocolate chips but last weekend I was making them with my nephew and substituted Pebbles for the choc chips since we didn’t have any. Rainbow biscuits! And very popular with all who tried them.

Today I felt like baking again so I picked up M&Ms to use instead of Pebbles. Still rainbow, but a slightly different taste to Pebbles. (And by the way, M&Ms that have been in the oven are pretty much the most awesome candy ever.)

So, without further ado, here’s the recipe!

Ingredients:

200 grams (7.054 ounces) softened buttered
½ cup white sugar
4 tablespoons condensed milk
2 tablespoons baking powder
2 cups plain flour
1 ½ cups M&Ms (roughly; I didn’t measure, so add as many as you desire)

Method:

Combine butter and sugar until creamy. Add the condensed milk and mix well. Add the baking powder and flour and combine until just mixed. Add the M&Ms and mix all together.

Take tablespoons of the mix and roll into balls (will make 32 biscuits). Place onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Press the biscuits down slightly with a fork.

Bake at 180°C (356°F) for 20 minutes or until golden.

The super-adorable Janie of Monster Girl Writes gave the Versatile Blogger Award to me! You definitely need to check out her blog ’cause it’s fantastic and so well-written. Go. Do. Now.

I think this is my first blog award ever and now I feel all special and like I just won an OSCAR or something. Omigosh, I cannot believe it! I would like to thank…

4 Rules go along with this award:

Rule 1: Thank the person who gave you this award.
Thanks Janie! <3

Rule 2: Share 7 things about yourself.

One: I don’t particularly like much of the music that originates from my country. There is plenty of it around, but in all honesty I find most of it to be terribly, well, crap. Except this song which I am rather fond of at the moment: ‘Young Blood’ by The Naked And Famous (for some reason embedding isn’t working for me). I saw them live when they opened for Nine Inch Nails and they were pretty good. This song kinda reminds me of MGMT.

Two: If being a psychologist doesn’t work out for me, I’ll probably do interior design. I have a very big love of making living spaces look delicious.

Three: I love drinking tea, but I prefer Earl Grey over ‘regular’ black tea. Like, really prefer it. I’ll have the regular stuff if it is the only type of tea available but when I’m sipping it I can’t help thinking something is wrong with it.

Four: On the subject of beverages, I am very predictable when it comes to what I will order at certain places. For instance, at Starbucks I almost always get a grande green tea frappechino, half the sugar syrup, with whipped cream. If it’s freezing and I want something warm I will either get a chai latte or hot chocolate. Sometimes I do try different things, like at Christmas when they have festive flavours.

Five: I love my hair being played with. It makes me want to go to sleep because it’s so nice and relaxing.

Six: I love high heels but I rarely wear them. They hurt… but I own like seven pairs.

Seven: I don’t like swimming at the beach if the water isn’t calm. Surf beaches are for sunbathing only! I have a fear of drowning in rough water that I manage to forget by avoiding rough beaches and not going on boats.

Rule 3: Pass the award along to 15 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic.

1. Girl’s Gone Child – Fabulous blog of a fabulous mama. I’ve been reading for a few months now and I really enjoy her posts, especially the brutally honest ones.

2. Today Is My Birthday – Pretty much every post has me in fits of laughter. This wonderful lady has such a great writing style. Loooove.

3. Today’s Letters – Super-sweet blog of daily letters about random stuff and to her husband.

4. Sometimes Sweet – Danielle’s blog may actually be my favourite find of the year. I am so, so pleased to have stumbled on it. She is a truly fantastic person!

5. Vannyyy – Really nice blog I’ve very recently found. Vanessa is studying to be a pastry chef so, yes, very yummy things do feature from time-to-time.

6. Of Mice and Manticores – Stevie’s insightful blog focuses on belief systems, science, and other interesting topics.

7. Our City Lights – Another very recent find. Diana’s blog is awesome, as is she.

Along with Janie, I’m stopping at 7 because I, too, do not have any other recently discovered blogs. In fact, some of the ones I’ve listed may not even be classed as ‘recently discovered’. More like ‘six months ago I found this blog and now I’m addicted to it and am sad when my Google Reader doesn’t have a post from them in it’.

Rule 4: Contact the bloggers you’ve picked and let them know about the award.

Off to do that right now! And then it’s wash face, get dressed and go do stuff time.