Browsing archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Jan 8th 2010

Cats Should Pick On Critters Their Own Size

Posted in Animals, Humor, Life at 10:16am

Yesterday evening I was about to walk from the house to my bedroom (about…oooh…four steps, lol) when I spotted my cat, Molly, lying in the driveway, her two front paws out to the front. I new immediately from the look on her face and the way her tail was flicking that she must have some sort of small creature in her grip. Sure enough, as I walked closer I spotted a teeny, young, brown mouse!

Little Mouse up close

I can’t bare to witness cats toying with creatures, live or dead. The only sort I’m okay with are the fake ones made of felt or some other material! So, naturally, I had to rescue Little Mouse from Tyrant Molly. Little Mouse was so, well, little, that I didn’t want to put him or her in my hand in case I accidentally crushed the poor dear, but the only thing I had handy was…a bra of mine. So, Little Mouse was carefully picked up by the tail and placed gently in my bra cup! :ayeayeaye:

Little Mouse
To get an idea of size. So now the whole internet knows I have a nude coloured padded bra… :blush:

Before taking my new friend (I definitely consider the mouse my new friend since not only did I rescue it from a cat, but it’s seen my bra up close and personal!) to a safe spot outside I brought it into my room to take the photos. Little Mouse’s body would have only been about the size of my thumb to the first knuckle. Dinky-wee.

Little Mouse very omg-cute

Hopefully the spot I found for it was safe enough. There was an area of metal to hide under that a cat couldn’t fit in, and lots of long grass.

xox, Sam

Sep 20th 2009

The Good and Peacful Rural Life

Posted in Humor, Life at 12:56pm

Whoever says living in the country is peaceful, is lying. Well, they’re lying to a certain degree, because even though there are lush green paddocks, lots of trees, scattered houses and the obligatory farm animals, there is still a lot of noise and unpeacefulness (I don’t think that’s a word, but I don’t care).

For example, I live directly under the flight path of two airports, Auckland domestic/international and Ardmore (think small commercial aircraft, helicopters and private planes). This means that at around 5:30am every morning we get nice big jumbo jets literally shaking the foundations of our house, and we also get small, loud, warcraft-type planes. While they’re pretty cool to watch in formation*, they don’t sound so fantastic at 10:30 on a Sunday morning when you’re trying to do your psychology report.

I’ve also mentioned previously our…flock? gaggle? complex foul social grouping?…of chickens and their Mighty Male Minders (i.e. roosters). One rooster is enough noise for most people, but two can be quite intense at times, especially when poor Richard (the small one) is trying to romance one of the ladies and then Jeremy comes along in a rage. How dare Richard get a leg over any of Jeremy’s chicks? Who does he think he is, anyway? And this isn’t even the half of it, because there are fourteen chickens, all of which make just as much noise as the boys do. You can always tell when one of them is in the nest box, popping an egg out, because there is this distinct sort of egg-laying squeal. I know that egg shells are soft when they come out and harden afterwards, but by the sounds of things, it’s not the most pleasant experience in the world. And they do this daily for a large portion of the year! I’m so glad I’m not a chicken.

Also, we must not forget about farm machinery. I have a family in which the men are all into machinery of any sort. If it’s got a motor in it they will like it. Particularly if it’s really big, has a seat and they can move dirt with it (really, this just goes to show how a giant sandpit would be The Best Thing Ever for them). Tractors, diggers, trucks, whatever. They make a lot of noise and are the bane of my student existence because I get woken up on weekends by them, and then my studious efforts are interrupted by brain-numbing “brrrr-rrrrr-chug-chug-brrrrrrrr”ings.

Last, but not least, I would like to inform anyone who’s never been around them that bulls and spring time equal a lot of roaring and grunting. If they are not trying to have it off with a cow, they’re trying to fight each other to figure out who’s the toughest. They like to do this at one o’clock in the morning.

So, if you think that the countryside is a lovely place to live where little lambs hop on pogo-stick legs, horses whinny, and cows with extremely long eyelashes chew grass, you would be right. But don’t forget about the noises that come with all of it!

*The other thing we’ve seen twice in the last year are those planes that tow banners. These banners had marriage proposals on them! I always think one would have to be pretty sure of the answer before doing that, ’cause otherwise it would be a lot of money for a ‘no’. :/ It’s still a bit of an “aww” moment, though for me it’s more from a perspective of super-for-you-but-not-for-me. Marriage is not on my list of Necessary Accomplishments In My Life. :p

xox, Sam

I have a stationery addiction. I can’t help it, but even if I could I wouldn’t want to stop. I want need a new pencil case because my existing one is a little too chunky, so when I was in the city today I went looking for any and all stores selling cute stationery. There is one I went to on Queen Street (main street of CBD) that sells cheap Japanese goods, but their cases were rubbish, then I remembered this gift shop I went to in 2006, so I went to find that.

Oh my fuck, stationery heaven! And Hello Kitty, and bento boxes, and Sanrio plushies, and STUFF. I maybe peed my pants a little from the excitement (not really; that would be weird). I spent ages picking out the perfect pencil case and then I found a headband for $3; I stopped there because I knew I did not have much money left.

In fact, it turned out that I did not have enough money to buy anything. My card declined. Twice.

FOR SHAME!

I’m going back tomorrow, of course.

xox, Sam